12-stars:

Aries: I’m better than all of you assholes

Taurus: I could eat some cake right now.

Gemini: I’m going to pretend I care about what you just said

Cancer: I need hugs and cookies.

Leo: Fuck u bitch I’m fabulous, bow down to me. 

Virgo: You’re all uncultered swines.

Libra: Stop war hug more

Scorpio: I’m tired of your bullshit, I just wanna sleep

Sagittarius: I wanna fuck your girlfriend

Capricorn: Sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

Aquarius: I’m hot and gay.

Pisces: Fuck my life.

(via bagelhoarder)

iceheavy-branches:

I want one of those marriages where they’ve been married 20 years but are still crazy in love and still cuddle on the couch and kiss a lot. I want those kind of marriages that make my kids nauseous because how in love their parents are.

(via bagelhoarder)